How To Deprogram Your Perception Of Reality And Start Over: Nature vs Nurture
What studying 20 years of behavioural psychology taught me about life
We all have a purpose in life..
Or that is what most people believe
The reality is much more than that..
For most people (and you), their purpose is forced upon them
You are born into a world where you have to abide by society’s expectations
You have to rationalize why you experience pain
You have to learn what is right and what is wrong
You come to understand what is acceptable and what is frowned upon
You learn so many things, because without these things, you are not “normal”
This system you’ve been brought up in..
It serves a purpose
It wasn’t built in a day
It’s based on thousands of years of human evolution and philosophy
But there’s a problem..
With the way things are right now, you are most likely lost in some way
How could you not be?
By being shown this way of living..
This way you are meant to think..
The way you are meant to behave..
And this way you end up perceiving things..
Its not ‘natural’
Its been engrained into your mind since you were born..
Not by nature..
But by other human beings..
Your way of life, by its very essence, is indoctrination
It’s the best way to teach anything to anyone
Indoctrinate them to think and act like you
Its how we teach children
Its how we train soldiers
Its how empires are built
But I think its time..
For you to pave your own way
If you’re reading this right now, its possible you need to go back
You need to re-establish your understanding of reality
Why is it you do what you do?
Why is it you believe what you believe?
Why is it you act the way you do?
Was it a result of your decisions..
Or were you trained to see things a certain way
Its time to find out
“But Ian, how would even go about doing that?”
By breaking down your entire life philosophy..
And building a completely new one from scratch
Are you ready? Let’s get started
Stage 1 - Analysis
To understand yourself, you need to know what makes you live life a certain way
To figure that out, you must do the following..
Ask yourself these questions:
1.1 - “When I die, what happens to my consciousness?”
Not everyone’s answer will be the same, and that’s quite alright
The purpose of this exercise is to evaluate what you’ve been taught about mortality
Really understand it, because it will make the next questions clear
Go think about it. While ignoring what you’ve been taught for a few seconds, what do you think is the most rational answer to this question, and why?
1.2 - “What, in my opinion, is the number 1 unforgiveable sin?”
The way we perceive right and wrong, is often a reflection of our perception when it comes to sin itself
If you can rationalize something to be forgivable, then it means you’ve combined your own understanding of sin, with what you’ve been taught
If you immediately knew what the most unforgivable sin is, it means you were taught what it is, and your belief never wavered..
Or you thought about it a lot, and came to a conclusion yourself
Go think about it. While ignoring everything you’ve been taught, what does your common sense tell you is the answer to this question, and why?
1.3 - If my 3 most important loved ones died instantly 5 seconds from now, each 3 weeks apart, what would I do afterward?
The way our brain perceives loss of any kind, is through adaptation
When your brain is met with an insurmountable obstacle (like a loss), it will mold your perception of reality to fit your experience
If you lose your grandmother who was in her 90s, your brain will adapt by telling you, “She passed away from natural causes, it was her time”
If you lose your father at age 60 due to a sickness that couldn’t be cured, your brain will adapt by telling you, “It might have been too early, but it was outside of your control, so you shouldn’t blame yourself”
The worse the loss is, the harder your brain needs to adapt
Whether that loss is financial, psychological, physical, or biological
It doesn’t matter. Your brain will do its best to adapt
But I speak from personal experience when I say..
Sometimes the brain can’t adapt
Sometimes it can’t rationalize a loss, because the loss was just unfair
Go sit down, and think about it. If this happened to you, how do you think you would respond, and why?
We have laid the groundwork. To rebuild your entire perception (this article itself can change your perception btw), you need to establish what it is you already believe
Stage 2 - Knowing Your Perception Pillars
Your perception of reality is not based on objective truth, it’s based on a system.
When someone dies, you rationalize it with religion or philosophy
When a tragedy occurs, you either claim it was God’s will, or you analyse that what caused it
There is no right or wrong in this regard, there is only what you have been taught
If you are born in a room with white walls, and you are forced to grow up by yourself, with no understanding being taught to you, with only your mind to figure things out..
You’d be a completely different person
It’s the old age phenomenon of “Nature vs Nurture”
Very few human beings (if any) grow up without a nurturing process
It establishes trust, it teaches you preconceived ideas, and it moulds you into the person you see in the mirror today
This nurturing process, follows the same structure for every human being..
2.1 Who Is My Creator?
This question is asked by every human being that exists, at some point
The person/s nurturing you, has already answered this question themselves
And they will teach you what they already believe
To you this will become like a law that cannot be broken
If something happens that’s out of your control, you will attribute this event to this creator of yours
I might be paraphrasing a bit here, but it was Jordan Peterson who said, “Everyone has a God, because no one can function or rationalize things without one”
What he meant with this is not the belief in a Divine Presence, but having an attributer
If something happens in your life that is beyond your control or comprehension, you HAVE to attribute that event to something, otherwise how could you face it?
After you can understand speech, this is the first thing you are taught by your nurturer.
For most people, religion taught by their nurturer, is what answers this question
2.2 What Is Right, And What Is Wrong?
This question is engrained into your psyche like a diamond in a deep underground deposit
The way we answer this question, is through societal programming
Thousands of years ago violence was normal
It was used to handle disputes, it was used to argue, and it was used for mating
Drunken brawls are not uncommon
There’s a reason for this
When enough alcohol enters your bloodstream, its weakens or switches off your inhibitions
The things holding you back, the things you’d never publicly admit, and the impulses that are part of your nature
This is exactly why introverts use getting tipsy as a mechanism to be more social
It stops their mind from holding them back, and makes it easier to socialize
What this tells us is that brawling (especially for me), is in our Nature
Because brawls happen when people are drunk
This is when man’s true nature shows itself
But not being violent, is part of Nurture
Using the example of violence, we can see how society has programmed us to behave a certain way. This nurturing process happens by changing a person’s perception of violence..
“Violence is wrong”
“Violence is unacceptable”
“You cannot physically harm”
This is not only a result of our increased intelligence and ability to better handle disagreements, but also a result of societal programming
Below we can see how societal programming works
Grandparents + Societal norms → Parents + Societal norms → You + Societal norms
Now of course, the question has to be asked..
Is societal programming right, or is it wrong?
Looking at it from an objective point of view, I can safely say most of society is better as a result of societal programming..
But there is some programming that does not help people, and there is some of it that encourages cult like behaviour (this only scratches the surface)
All things that can affect you either Psychologically or Biologically, should be practised in moderation
2.3 Why Are You On This Earth?
Most people think the meaning to their existence is predetermined. Something gave it to them. But what do you believe?
Do you think you were granted existence by a greater Deity who watches your every move.. Or do you think you are free to make your own decisions?
The way you perceive this question, is again, a result of your programming
Most entrepreneurs have already figured this part out by remaining objective.
The reason being, they have to come to terms with where they are going in life at an early stage, because entrepreneurship, by its very nature, is about paving your own way
If you work a 9-5, you were given the path you will walk for the rest of your life
But if I did not remain objective, there would be not validity to my words, now would there?
The entrepreneurial mindset, is still an indoctrination, as everything you’ve been taught is
Influence, by its very nature, is indoctrination
Stage 3 - Reprogramming Your Mind
3.1 - Who Is Your Attributer?
These are instructions: Write down every event in your life that was outside of your control, and analyse why it happened. The following is VITAL..
Approach the situation from an objective point of view.
Do not use preconceived ideas or things you were taught. Use only your mind..
And answer the question, “Who Is My Attributer?”
This can be a few hundred words, to a few thousand words. Take your time
If you truly ignore everything you’ve been programmed to believe and accept up until this point, your answer will not be the same. Good luck.
3.2 - When It Comes To Morality, What Is Your Objective Stance?
These are instructions: While ignoring everything you’ve been taught about sin up until this point..
What, according to your objective perception, is the RIGHT way to approach morality.. And what is the WRONG way to approach morality?
Your answer might shape everything you do and believe up until this point, so really go think about this
Sit down with a piece of paper, and start writing. Even if you write hundreds to thousands of words, it doesn’t matter.. What you are aiming for is clarity
Good luck
3.3 - What Is Your Purpose In Life?
The answer to this question, has to come from within
If your answer is a result of an external factor, then you are not following the instructions correctly
These are instructions: By looking inward, and nowhere else, think what is is you want to do with your life, and think why it matters
Ignore everything influencing your purpose, and decide what it is YOU want to do
This does not mean you can’t make your decision due to contemplation
It means you need to stop letting other people’s perspectives influence your decision making
It doesn’t matter how much you need to write here, what matters is that you visualize a clear picture in your mind, as to where you want to go to life
Break down your internal purpose to its fundamentals
You might even think you want to go live in the countryside and run a small farm to look after yourself and your family
Your purpose in life should not be determined by what someone else is doing, but by what makes you happy
If you have come this far, it means you now have a new perspective on life, or you didn’t follow the instructions properly.. Either that, or you’re still be influenced by external factors
On this final note, that’s it for today
This week’s article was a little late, because my studies got in the way of my performance and delivery
I haven't missed a week in like 6 months, so this won’t be a regular thing
Have a wonderful day my friend! Cheers, Ian
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