Adopt These 3 Relationship Values To Build Superior Partnerships (Improve Mental Health And Increase Cashflow)
Works for business and life
First let me get this out of the way
This isn’t some engagement bating post like those “Top 10 books you must read”, or “Top 10 lessons I learned in the last 30 years” BS
This is raw, extensively researched based scientific theory, laid out before you
I don’t write to sound smart, I write to change perceptions, to move mountains, to help you get the desired results
This is not an engagement post, its powerful aspects you can implement in your daily life (that will actually get you from A-Z)
There are 4 eternal markets..
Wealth, Health, Relationships, and Happiness
If you produce something on the internet, and it makes a lot of money, its usually in one of those categories
Notice how one of the eternal markets is relationships
Why is that do you think? The answer is simple
Human beings have been managing relationships for as long as they have been around
Tribes, hunting parties, communities, forums, followers etc.
It doesn’t matter what you are doing right now, there’s most likely people building relationships around it
Its for this exact reason why dating coaches make so much money
People want fulfilling lives, and that means love (platonic or romantic)
And the truth? Most people suck at managing relationships properly
In my life, I’ve had 12 relationships of a romantic nature
True, to some that might sound like a bad thing..
But I see it as building experience through mistakes, so you know what to do differently next time
While I took every relationship very seriously, they didn’t all turn out like I wanted them to turn out
This is human development
Finding a problem,, experimenting to solve it, failing, and repeating it until it works
Its the reason why 99% of the people you date, you won’t marry
Its all about iteration
If you’re dealing with related issues, I wrote a book & comprehensive guide to avoiding toxic relationships and dealing with trauma, you can grab it here
“The key to success in this world is communication and in order to be good at communicating you need to have good comprehension” - Allan Goldman
Allan says communication is key, but without the right mental frameworks and understanding, there will be no comprehension
The purpose of this article is to give you that comprehension, so you can bring about change in your own life
You’re reading this right now because either
You don’t know about other sources of information that will help you develop fulfilling relationships
You can’t be bothered to change your reading habits to include other sources of information that can solve the problem (besides this article)
Or you’re under the impression your relationships are perfect (they are not)
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, there is only experimentation, failure, and success
“The basis for friendship, relationship, partnership - isn’t proximity or time spent together - it’s values.” - Naval
Values form the basis of our understanding. We do things based on our perception of something. That perception is formed based on preconceived understanding..
And preconceived understanding is based on indoctrinated values
Like how you don’t hit woman because you’ve been taught since childhood that its unacceptable
Objectively speaking, there’s nothing logical about that
If a woman twice your size was coming at you with a baseball bat, and you’re trained in Judo, with no way to get out of the situation apart from going through her..
What will you do?
The answer is simple. This “Don’t hit woman” idea, is a value
Its something you were taught or you learned due to behavioral conditioning.
But behavioral conditioning is incredibly important, because to gain comprehension of something, you need to attach a value to it
“Hitting girls is wrong”, then you don’t harm woman
Or you do harm a girl, see what it did to her, then you decide to never harm a girl again - Conditioning
And conditioning can be implemented to teach someone any kind of moral trait, no matter the person
“Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select” - John Broadus Watson, the founder of behaviorism
What John Watson says here, supports Dan Koe’s theory that you can teach any person any personality trait, if you work hard enough
Why is this relevant to the topic of relationships and values?
Because your values define who you are. You are a result of your programming, and your values are just a part of your programming
I open the door for woman because I’ve been programmed to due to so, and I rationalize that programming with my values (Woman should be respected and protected)
I don’t get into fights because I’ve been programmed to solve problems through theory and objective reasoning (the value is not harming innocents)
This is exactly why values are the basis for human connection.
By adopting the right values, you can change your behavior, and changing your behavior means fostering healthier relationships (through human connection)
Your problem is that you either don’t have these values, or you’re not aware of them
And because you lack these values, your relationships are most likely suffering as a result (no one is perfect)
And this is applicable to business as well
Fostering the right relationships with the right people, can drastically increase your level of achievements in the online world (keep that in mind)
Even if you’re reading this, and you think, “My relationships are perfect”, I want you to objectively look at what you just told yourself, and determine if its accurate..
Because it most likely isn’t accurate
If you foster better relationships, you will see exponential growth in your cognitive development moving forward (and yes, you will also make more money)
The first value is that of giving and taking..
One of the most underutilized marketing avenues is giving back the same level of kindness someone else gave to you
With the market sophistication being so high (how much people are being sold to), most conversations are met with mistrust or doubt → Especially on X or twitter
This value will 100% make you more money in the long term, but its also very important when it comes to every day relationships
Like hugging your mom when she made you nice food, or reposting someone’s post if they reposted yours
Reciprocity is not an inherently evil practice..
The idea of helping each other reach greater heights, is a very simple concept, but due to how the online world works, its often not worked on enough
How many times have you been on a dating app, then you get ghosted?
Or someone makes a mistake, and makes up a lie to excuse themselves?
Or you’re talking to someone on social media, but its obvious you are carrying the conversation, and they put in no effort to follow up with you?
These are great examples of people who disregard the value of reciprocity
You are the result of your peers
Surround yourself with hard workers, and you will work harder
Build other people up, and you will be built up as well
The problem, is that people are self-absorbed, as well as afraid of consequences for their actions → They would rather avoid confrontation
These are instructions:
Make a list of the people who are giving just as much as they are taking from you
Then prioritize those people over other relationships
Effort, love, help, guidance, support
It doesn’t matter what it is, if the person is actively putting in effort to help you, and you are helping them in return, you are both being reciprocal
You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain from an interaction like that
Forget thinking, “O they just want this from me”, or “They are using me” etc.
If you are both receiving something of value, then its way more intelligent to continue the partnership, instead of destroying the partnership
This is applicable to life, and to business (I’m sure you can tell)
The conditioning: Reciprocity helps me gain and give way more out of my relationships
The value: We should look after those important to us
Which brings us to..
When I do something, I’m always thinking of this 3 letter acronym
What is the return on investment, for this activity
It can be unhealthy at times, but in moderation is can drastically increase your quality of life
The best way to determine the ROI of something, is to think about the outcome instead of the process
Think about it for a second..
If you hug your partner every time you go to bed, the outcome is a happier partner, as well as a lack of regret if something happens to them (you also gain from this)
If you send 5 direct messages to potential clients every day, for a whole month, its almost impossible to not make money that month
These are return on investments (both are worth it I’d say)
Thinking in terms of ROI will change everything for you, because you will see desirable outcomes everywhere you go
For someone like me who has OCD and ADHD, it can get pretty bad..
But for a normal everyday person, this can only benefit you in the long run
Like how you’re afraid of jumping on video calls, but then you realize the ROI of jumping on video calls is improved social skills, and landing $2000 clients
That’s a massive ROI
But if you didn’t keep ROI into account, you’d be much more reluctant to do things that are vital to building healthy relationships
Like how before my brother passed away I didn’t really hug my mom..
But after he passed away I hug her all the time
Focusing on ROI can avoid a lot of heartache, psychological problems, and foster much healthier relationships (without having to lose people)
The conditioning: Return on investment teaches me healthier relationship behaviors
The value: We should treasure our loved ones on principle
(the next value enhances with the ROI perspective)
“To build successful relationships, you have to feel confidence pulsing through your veins. Your heart has to be the drum that beats out the rhythm of confidence. Every word that comes out of your mouth has to be the lyrics of confidence” - Leil Lowndes
Have you ever seen those interviews with fighters before the match?
Do you recognize a pattern? Unshakable certainty that they will win
In fact, one could argue before the match even started, they already won in their mind
They say a fighter has to convince themselves of victory before they get in the ring, because only by irrationally believing in their own might, will they reign victorious
The more optimistic a person is, the more convincing they are
The more convincing they are, the more people flock to them
“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was” - Muhammed Ali
Look around you, is it not obvious that the greatest achievers believed without a shadow of a doubt that they will succeed, no matter their adversary?
Mr Beast, Elon Musk, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson
They all had one thing in common..
They believed themselves to be great, before they were
How else could you achieve greatness, if not to convince yourself you already have?
Let’s go back to 2021 for a second
I was still new in the business world, and I had just been paid 2 months of stable salary by sitting in front of my laptop, and I never even had a job
I felt absolutely unstoppable
For the first time in my life, money wasn’t an obstacle
I had found a formula that kept making me money
That few months of bliss was phenomenal
It was like being a conqueror in a tiny nation
That unshakable certainty in your own ability, is what you need to adopt the value of
The conditioning: Through great effort you can achieve anything
The value: You are owed everything you work hard for
Would it not be the most intelligent course of action to adopt this value?
I want you to believe that you are capable of the impossible, because you are
And once you believe yourself to be great, people will flock to you
The best human connection is built on the unshakable belief you have in yourself
Think about it…
If you’re in an elevator, and the power goes out, and it drops a few meters, and everybody is freaking out..
Who do you turn to?
The person losing their mind, thinking they’re gonna die
Or..
The person who is incredibly calm, and calmly explains that everything will be okay
The answer is obvious
If you want human connection, become that person who just seems like they’ve never doubted themselves, ever
There’s this book I’ve been reading.. It’s called “How To Make Anyone Like You: Proven Ways To Become A People Magnet”
It talks about scientifically backed research data on relationships
In the book they talk about a study the ‘American Sociological Association’ conducted
They were attempting to discover what what makes people like you the most
At the top of the list was having a positive optimistic personality and confidence in yourself
But there’s a fine line between a sociopath and irrational optimism (and unfortunately its a very fine line)
When I made all that money, my parents legitimately thought I had bipolar disorder, and their concern is valid, albeit inaccurate
They believed my irrational confidence to be part of a manic episode
I am still confident like I was then, but I am also more aware of my own shortcomings, and what it is going to require to not make the same mistakes again (a lot of hard work)
The conditioning: Believing in myself makes people flock to me, and benefits all of us
The value: If I remain calm in difficult situations, it better supports people around me
Thanx for reading. Please like, share, and subscribe
PS: I recently released a book that:
Teaches you how to avoid toxic relationships before they happen
Teaches you how to spot mental health issues in relationships
Teaches you how to deal with losing loved ones as you age
Teaches you no. 1-3 intertwined with real life stories
Want it? Grab it below
